Monday, January 19, 2015
Toxic Parents - Part one
To understand what a toxic parent is, we must first examine what toxic means.
Toxic is something that is poisonous, noxious, contaminated. In the following text, I aim to outline what this means in relation to a toxic parent of both children and adult 'children', (the inner child).
Let's first look at the affects of something poisonous. In hindsight, something that is toxic only becomes poisonous when consumed by the body, either through digesting, injecting, or breathing. For example, a snake itself is not poisonous, it's its venom that is poisonous and only when it enters the bloodstream of a living being. However, if we talk about 'someone' being poisonous, we're alluding to said person as being malicious or spiteful. The affects of malicious or spiteful behaviour can have the same damaging results as if the poison were consumed, as our sense of well-being emotionally or psychologically is affected negatively as the poisonous behaviour penetrates out mind. Toxic parents poison us when there is a clear aim to hurt us, through neglecting, physically or sexually abusing, and far less recognisably, through emotional abuse (being noxious).
The noxious part of a toxic parent, is when they're being harmful to the mind, or causing moral corruption, (blackmailing, embarrassing, name calling, etc.). In some cases, when the mind has been affected by a noxious entity, depression maybe a consequence as the child/adult is subjected by an attack of negative language about their character.and feelings of inadequacy manifests as a result. In the case of corruption, this is essentially the destruction of someone's honesty or integrity about oneself, causing self perception to become distorted and the result could develop into toxic shame, which I shall write about at a later date. Fundamentally, a person who is noxious, primarily attacks or hurts another individual's core being and self perception.
A toxic parent can contaminate in two ways. Firstly, they contaminate the environment around the child; by displaying unhealthy anger, drinking too much (being a drunk daily), being promiscuous, playing the victim or martyr, etc. As a result of a contaminated environment, the child may feel scared, confused, ashamed, insecure and anxious. Secondly, they place the child in a state of being contaminated as a result of the condition of the mind becoming impure and altered by the influence of a toxic parent through, unclear boundaries, lack of support or encouragement, unacceptable social etiquette, taunting, patronising, teasing, and illegal behaviour.
The phrase Toxic Parent, was devised through the obvious and apparent negative behaviour of a parent who grossly inflicts emotional damage to their child (whether young or old). Toxic parenting can continue throughout a child's life and way into adulthood. It is therefore my aim to illuminate others about the possible affect a toxic parent may still have on their life.
In my next post, I will write about what a toxic parent does. In the meantime, if you feel affected by what I've written or feel you might need some professional help, please visit www.restoringlives.co.uk