If you've ever been told as a child, 'stop crying', or 'children should be seen and not heard', or 'stop acting like a baby', you may be experiencing emotional restrictions in your life, like you have no rights to be, or to feel. Many of us are suffering with, 'childhood hangover'; a lingering effect from a distressing experience or something that remains in us from a former period in our lives.
Just one negative word said to us as a child can cause unsettling or insecure feelings that remains within us as adults. This can cause us to feel, believe or think that we have no right to certain actions, values, and needs or to make our own choices and decisions. We revert back to childlike state and unhealthy anger manifests based on repressed anger we felt as a child.
To begin on the path to healthy anger, it's helpful to understand our basic human rights. Understanding your rights as a human being, reinforces your dignity and worth as an individual.
The following is a list of what I believe to be our basic human rights, needed to promote healthy anger. It is by no means a perfect remedy for childhood hangover, but it certainly helps ease the affects if you allow them to resonate within you.
BASIC HUMAN RIGHTS
YOU HAVE
NUMEROUS CHOICES IN YOUR LIFE BEYOND SURVIVAL
YOU HAVE THE RIGHT:
•
To recognise and accept your own value systems as
appropriate
•
To say NO when you feel you're not ready, if it is
unsafe or it violates your values
•
To dignity and respect
•
To make decisions
•
To have your needs and wants respected by others
•
To terminate conversations with people who make you feel put down and humiliated
•
To NOT be responsible for others behaviour,
actions, feelings and problems
•
To make mistakes and not have to be perfect
•
To learn from your mistakes
•
To expect honesty from others
•
To all your feelings
•
To be angry with someone you love, if they hurt you
•
To feel scared and say “I'm afraid”
•
To grieve over losses in your life
•
To safety and security
•
To make decisions based on your feelings
•
To change your mind at any time
•
To be happy
•
To stability, i.e. roots and stable healthy
relationships of your choice
•
To own your personal space and time needs
•
To be relaxed, playful and frivolous
•
To be flexible and comfortable with doing so
•
To change and grow
•
To be open to improve your communication skills so
that you may be understood
•
To make friends and be comfortable around people
•
To be in a non-abusive environment
•
To trust others who earn your trust
•
To forgive others and yourself
•
To give and receive unconditional love
No comments:
Post a Comment