Friday, March 06, 2015

Childhood Hangover Remedy - Our Basic Human Rights.

If you've ever been told as a child, 'stop crying', or 'children should be seen and not heard', or 'stop acting like a baby', you may be experiencing emotional restrictions in your life, like you have no rights to be, or to feel. Many of us are suffering with, 'childhood hangover'; a lingering effect from a distressing experience or something that remains in us from a former period in our lives.

Just one negative word said to us as a child can cause unsettling or insecure feelings that remains within us as adults. This can cause us to feel, believe or think that we have no right to certain actions, values, and needs or to make our own choices and decisions. We revert back to childlike state and unhealthy anger manifests based on repressed anger we felt as a child. 

To begin on the path to healthy anger, it's helpful to understand our basic human rights. Understanding your rights as a human being, reinforces your dignity and worth as an individual. 

The following is a list of what I believe to be our basic human rights, needed to promote healthy anger. It is by no means a perfect remedy for childhood hangover, but it certainly helps ease the affects if you allow them to resonate within you. 


    To recognise and accept your own value systems as appropriate
    To say NO when you feel you're not ready, if it is unsafe or it violates your values
    To dignity and respect
    To make decisions
    To have your needs and wants respected by others
    To terminate conversations with people who make you feel put down and humiliated
    To NOT be responsible for others behaviour, actions, feelings and problems
    To make mistakes and not have to be perfect
    To learn from your mistakes
    To expect honesty from others
    To all your feelings
    To be angry with someone you love, if they hurt you
    To feel scared and say “I'm afraid”
    To grieve over losses in your life
    To safety and security
    To make decisions based on your feelings
    To change your mind at any time
    To be happy
    To stability, i.e. roots and stable healthy relationships of your choice
    To own your personal space and time needs
    To be relaxed, playful and frivolous
    To be flexible and comfortable with doing so                                                                    
    To change and grow
    To be open to improve your communication skills so that you may be understood
    To make friends and be comfortable around people
    To be in a non-abusive environment
    To trust others who earn your trust
    To forgive others and yourself
    To give and receive unconditional love

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